Months ago I created this blog in an effort to find something special about each day. In an effort to live life to the fullest. I haven't kept to my promise at all.
Someone told me today that the dynamics of the relationship I had with them were such that - they ended up 'using' me. Though as much as I appreciated the honesty, it also made me realise. I am sick of this nice person tag, and at the same moment I realised its so who I am though. I will no matter what forgive and go out of my way, and in the process get used. My dad is the same way, and when I asked him once why this way dad, he told me he wouldn't trade it for anything else. And today I understand what it means. I will no doubt get used in my life, and have disappointments and be a mat for people - but ultimately its not me - its a character flaw in them. And what I do need to learn is to not allow myself to be nice to everyone. Yes, innocent until proven guilty, but once proven guilty - depending on the activity - no more nice person.
Everyday I am thankful to god for having such awesome people in my life. Strangers even that care for me. I am so blessed and loved, and I can't let the few unfortunate people who think the dynamics were such that my forgiving them is to be used - well I say to them - screw you.
Life is short. Life is sucky. People die and all I know is on my death bed and after that, when people remember me - I am remembered as a nice person. I am the person that will cause the generations after me to believe in humanity, in the good of people.
Today, all I ask is embrace that part of yourself even if that part is responsible for causing you some major hurt in your life.
No song for today, but this quote fits perfectly.
Quote for Today:
To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting. ~ E.E. Cummings.
Monday, June 21, 2010
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